Does this make you MAD too!? 😡🤬

Do you ever feel like you will be judged, shamed or be in trouble for feeling angry? Like you are a bad person if you get MAD or upset about things?

Let's talk about something we rarely give ourselves permission to feel – anger. In our culture, as women, it's accepted to express joy, sadness, or even affection for cute puppies. But when it comes to anger, we often find ourselves wearing a mask of false bravery, smiling through the pain. We've become masters at repressing our true feelings, proclaiming, "everything is okay, I’m fine."

I vividly remember my early thirties, about to embark on the journey of single motherhood. At the time, it seemed like I had to be the queen of repressing my anger, projecting a positive image to the world. Behind that facade, I was furious that life wasn't unfolding as I envisioned. Some people around me couldn't offer the support I needed during this significant life change. Instead of allowing myself to be angry, I buried it deep and filled each day with a false positive narrative. The result? Unintended outbursts, directed at unsuspecting customers at work. Whoops!

I didn’t know how to process these feelings because I was never taught how to. This led to years of living without boundaries, succumbing to people-pleasing just to maintain the support I thought I needed. And I know I'm not alone – women have endured years of emotional repression, leaving us unaware of our full emotional spectrum.

Some may label anger as a "negative emotion," but this perspective arises from witnessing the unprocessed version of repressed anger – the kind that leads to power struggles and projections. However, there's another layer to anger, one where it is acknowledged and processed.

When we recognize and process anger, it becomes a tool for protection and repair. It allows us to establish healthy boundaries with those around us, restoring our sense of strength and separateness. So, the next time you feel anger bubbling up, ask yourself, "What must be protected, and what must be restored?"

Reflecting on my own experience, had I asked these questions in my early thirties, I would have realized my heart needed protection from the hurt it was feeling. Healthy anger was trying to guide me toward creating a healthy detachment from those who couldn't be what I needed. It took time, but I eventually learned to set boundaries, allowing only those who contributed positively into my space.

Setting boundaries can be a challenging but essential aspect of navigating your thirties. Here are five taggable ways to establish healthy boundaries:

1. Communicate Clearly: Express your needs and expectations openly and honestly. Effective communication is the cornerstone of setting boundaries.

2. Prioritize Self-Care: Understand that taking care of yourself is not selfish. Prioritize self-care to maintain emotional well-being and set a precedent for others.

3. Learn to Say No: It's okay to decline commitments or requests that do not align with your priorities or values. Saying no is a powerful boundary-setting tool.

4. Establish Consequences: Clearly define consequences for those who consistently violate your boundaries. Consistency reinforces the importance of respecting your limits.

5. Seek Support: Surround yourself with individuals who respect your boundaries and offer support when needed. Having a supportive network like the Aligned at 30 Community is crucial for maintaining healthy boundaries.

   Learning to set boundaries was a journey for me, one that took years. But now that I have the tools, expressing healthy anger has become more accessible. If you, like me, struggled with creating boundaries and prioritizing your inner peace, my Aligned at 30 Playbook is designed for you. Dive into the world of understanding and processing emotions, paving the way for an authentic life.

   Let me guide you toward incorporating more healthy anger into your life and reclaiming your power. Here's to embracing your thirties with strength and authenticity!